I am complicated, I am simply me

Who is Randolf Peirce?

I am old, old, old now, a 64 year old man who wears glasses and made teeth. I have written all the moments I was capable of writing through all the years since I turned forty. I wrote away the last years of my (relative) youth, tied by obsession to a chair and computer. Now my body aches if I type too long. But I am still here, and I intend to write some more serious and interesting books before I give up on writing.

“I guess I am a writer because I felt my own sense of personal loss from how life was treating me, and from being way too aware of how our human society makes people everywhere inevitably suffer from the inequalities and inefficiencies and the inhumanity of our societal beliefs and of our uncaring governing systems….I became a writer from seeing all of this, from wondering about what people feel and suffer from all of this, knowing my own suffering and wanting to better understand the sources of it. I have wanted to know and understand the why of it all that lets us hurt each other in family and community. When we act in love driven wrong, as well as when we act in angers misdirected across the world.”

from an earlier version of “Human”

As you age you are supposed to mellow, so I have heard said. Indeed at least in whatever takes physical energy I have had to mellow. But in feelings and thoughts, I have not mellowed so much as become more specific and narrowed in focus. If this is about some important issue of life this can be good and much then can be done. If this is about worries and fears it can be bad. Things can become a bit obsessive and will unless I work at holding this obsession away.

I do not think I can claim to any great overall gain in wisdom, just a more practiced patience with my own inner processes of thought and feeling. I now have more love for myself and for what I go through in my life. I still have hopes of being a better person than I am. We’ll see what comes out of this.

Randy Hat gry reze pencil

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